What Is Love Bombing
Love bombing is when someone showers you with affection in order to win your love and attention. It’s a form of manipulation that can be difficult to spot because it feels so good! But beware: love bombers often turn into ghosts, disappearing once they’ve got what they want from you. Keep reading to learn more about this toxic dating behavior.
People who engage in love bombing will often shower their target with compliments, gifts, or other signs of intense devotion very quickly. Ultimately, it is a manipulative tactic used to control another person’s emotions and behavior by overwhelming them with preferential treatment.
Love bombing is a manipulative behavior used by some people to maintain control over their romantic partners. It may start innocently enough, with excessive compliments and attention, but it can quickly become overbearing and inconsistent.
Love Bombing Examples
For those who don’t understand its effects, love bombing can make them feel special and loved. The unfortunate truth, however, is that once that person realizes they’re dealing with a controlling individual they become vulnerable to ghosting—an abrupt breach of communication in which the person vanishes without warning or apparent explanation.
A common sign of narcissistic love bombing is when your potential partner tries to convince you that everyone else in the world has wronged them, except for you. Besides the obvious red flags that raises, the love bomber isn’t making a truthful statement.
Similarly when a person tells you that nobody else in the world understands them except for you; it typically leads to them trying to isolate you from friends and family.
However, some people may do it for genuine reasons such as vulnerability; manifesting their inner emotional needs outwardly in order to fill up the void inside of themselves, even though this often leads to disaster because these feelings cannot be reciprocated at the same level.
Love Bombing Then Ghosting
People who love bomb often leave this sudden void in order to maintain control: by keeping the other person guessing what happened or why they left, the relationship remains one-sided and keeps the power out of reach of the one who was left behind. It’s important to recognize signs of love bombing in order to prevent it from leading to ghosting and feel secure within relationships.
Your potential suitor is always there for you when you need them, and they make themselves too available
They make big romantic gestures, often for show
They never criticize or judge you, and they always support you no matter what you do.
They are very possessive of you, and they don’t like it when other people talk to or touch you
They often tell you that they love you, and they often say it in a way that makes you feel like you can’t say no
None of the above behaviors are sustainable in a long-term relationship.
How Long Does Love Bombing Last
Depending on the connection and circumstances, this burst of passion can last anywhere from weeks to months. During this time, partners often experience extreme happiness and a heightened sense of security. However, many relationships become dependent on this thrill and struggle when it fades away, as it inevitably will. To keep intensity alive between two people in the long term requires that they each practice thoughtful communication and compromise – something that cannot be fake or forced.
Real love is patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts always hopes, and always perseveres.
Conversely, fake love is based on neediness and insecurity. It is jealous, controlling, and angry. Fake love is always looking for something to fill a void inside them. They give in order to get something back. This kind of love is not true love because it doesn’t come from a place of self-acceptance.
How To Stop Love Bombing
Love bombing and ghosting can take a toll on anyone’s mental health, especially during the holiday season. The most important thing to do when dealing with these feelings is to first realize that it’s neither your fault nor under your control.
Being love-bombed and ghosted stems from the other person’s needs, not yours. It’s also important to practice self-care; talk to friends and family about how you’re feeling and find constructive ways to channel your emotions through hobbies or activities you enjoy. Lastly, don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, take pride in growing from the experience and reflecting on what it means for future relationships.
Make an honest and thorough assessment of the situation and the level of abuse you are experiencing. You may feel “in love” with your abuser, but it’s essential to recognize that this abusive, controlling relationship is not healthy for you or your children.
Abusers are keenly aware of which buttons to push to control their victims – they will continue to do so long after they have started showing signs of love bombing. This makes it difficult for victims to leave because they will never find “better” than the person currently abusing them.
This is one of the most challenging steps – many victims want to talk with their abusers and “work things out.” However, this only gives the abuser more control over you and prolongs your suffering. If at all possible, keep as much distance as possible between you and your abuser until you’re ready for a complete break (and hopefully completely healed).
Part of the love-bombing process is creating an isolated bubble around you and your abuser. This makes it difficult to seek help from friends or family who may provide support during this time. Just make sure that whomever you reach out to will support what you’re trying to do. It will help if you plan with someone if something wrong happens while leaving the abusive situation (burning bridges).
Remember that even after breaking away from the person abusing you, they may continue using love bombing as a way to reel you back in. You must stay strong and focused on your goal – breaking away from the abuser and starting over with healthier personal and professional relationships.
Navigating the world of dating can be a tricky and stressful situation, particularly when it comes to avoiding the pitfalls of love bombing and ghosting. To protect yourself in the future, practice setting clear boundaries with potential partners from the start. You should make sure your expectations for how often you communicate and what kind of exclusive relationship you expect are understood and agreed to by both parties.
Building mutual trust by being honest, open, and consistent with your words and actions is also paramount. Love bombing – also known as “pushing” – involves someone coming on very strong too quickly, which can lead to an unhealthy relationship down the road; while ghosting is the abrupt ending of all communication without explanation or closure.