At first, the relationship between an empath and a narcissist can seem great. The empath gives, and the narcissist takes. The empath listens, supports, and shows love, while the narcissist soaks up the attention and admiration.
But soon, things start to feel off. The empath starts to feel drained, overwhelmed, or even unappreciated. The narcissist, on the other hand, might not notice or care. They are often more focused on themselves and may not give much back to the empath. They don’t understand the emotional toll they’re putting on the other person because, in their eyes, they are the most important person in the room.
What To Know
Here’s how the tension can build up:
- The narcissist expects constant praise and admiration, while the empath feels like their kindness isn’t being recognized.
- The empath wants a deep emotional connection, but the narcissist may only care about their own needs, not taking the time to understand or care about the empath’s emotions.
- The narcissist uses manipulation or guilt trips, making the empath feel like they must help or be there for them, even when it’s hurting the empath.
The Narcissist Empath Dynamic
Charm and Charisma Phase
Creates an instant connection, making the target feel special, valued, and seen. The charm works to disarm defenses and build trust quickly.
Mirroring and Validation
Deepens the illusion of compatibility and creates a sense of unity. The target feels a unique bond, often believing they’ve met a soulmate or an extraordinarily understanding friend.
Gradual Dependency Building
The target becomes dependent on the narcissist for validation, guidance, or comfort, entrenching them further into the relationship. This sets the stage for later control.
Undermining and Gaslighting
Erodes the target’s self-confidence and perception of reality. The target becomes more vulnerable to further control, questioning their own judgments and increasingly relying on the narcissist for clarity.
Control and Isolation
Isolation reinforces dependence, making it harder for the target to see the reality of the situation or seek outside support. The narcissist becomes the center of the target’s world, leading to a cycle of seeking approval and trying to regain the “good times” from the early stages.
Remember: Healthy relationships require give and take from both sides, and narcissists typically aren’t good at giving back. The empath may need to set boundaries, practice self-care, and sometimes leave relationships where their kindness isn’t respected.
