In both academic research and popular culture, narcissism is a frequently discussed topic, with terms describing specific behaviors, personality traits, and relationships.
Here is a comprehensive glossary of the most common terms used when discussing narcissism:
Grandiose Narcissism
- Definition: This type of narcissism is marked by overt displays of superiority, confidence, and self-importance. Grandiose narcissists are often extroverted, aggressive, and seek admiration openly, believing they are inherently better than others.
Vulnerable (or Covert) Narcissism
- Definition: Unlike grandiose narcissism, vulnerable narcissists are more introverted, hypersensitive to criticism, and may appear shy or insecure. They may experience feelings of victimization and harbor resentment toward others while craving admiration.
Narcissistic Supply
- Definition: This refers to the admiration, validation, or attention that narcissists crave to maintain their self-esteem. Narcissists often rely on people around them for this “supply,” becoming agitated or hostile when it is withheld.
Narcissistic Abuse
- Definition: A pattern of emotional, psychological, or sometimes physical abuse perpetrated by a narcissist. Narcissistic abuse can include manipulation, gaslighting, verbal attacks, and controlling behaviors designed to undermine the victim’s sense of self.
Gaslighting
- Definition: A manipulation tactic where a narcissist tries to make someone doubt their reality, memory, or perceptions. The term originates from the 1944 movie Gaslight, and it’s often used to erode a victim’s sense of self and independence.
Love Bombing
- Definition: An early stage of a narcissistic relationship where the narcissist overwhelms the other person with excessive affection, attention, and gifts. This is often used to establish control by creating a dependency before later revealing abusive behaviors.
Devaluation
- Definition: A phase in many narcissistic relationships where, after initially idealizing someone, the narcissist begins to criticize, belittle, and distance themselves from the person. This process often follows the love-bombing stage.
Discard
- Definition: The final phase in a narcissistic relationship cycle where the narcissist abruptly cuts off the relationship or significantly withdraws. The discard stage can be sudden and ruthless, leaving the victim feeling discarded and confused.
Hoovering
- Definition: Named after the vacuum brand, hoovering refers to attempts by a narcissist to “suck” a former partner or victim back into their influence. This can involve manipulation, false apologies, or promises to change.
Triangulation
- Definition: A manipulation tactic where a narcissist involves a third party in their relationship dynamics, often to create jealousy, competition, or division. Triangulation helps narcissists retain control by destabilizing the relationships between others.
Flying Monkeys
- Definition: People who unwittingly or knowingly support the narcissist, often spreading their narrative, defending their actions, or helping manipulate others. The term derives from The Wizard of Oz, referring to characters who do the narcissist’s bidding.
Narcissistic Rage
- Definition: Intense anger, aggression, or emotional outburst that occurs when a narcissist feels their self-esteem or sense of superiority is challenged. Narcissistic rage is often disproportionate to the triggering event and can be unpredictable and destructive.
Narcissistic Injury
- Definition: An emotional wound that occurs when a narcissist perceives a threat to their self-esteem or identity. Narcissistic injury often triggers narcissistic rage or attempts at revenge, as the narcissist tries to regain their sense of power.
Idealization
- Definition: The process by which narcissists initially place someone on a pedestal, seeing them as perfect and admiring them greatly. This idealization is often temporary and followed by devaluation once the person’s imperfections become apparent.
Projection
- Definition: A defense mechanism where narcissists attribute their own negative traits or behaviors onto others. For example, a narcissist who is untrustworthy might accuse others of betrayal.
Pathological Narcissism
- Definition: A severe form of narcissism that goes beyond regular personality traits and involves pervasive grandiosity, entitlement, and exploitation of others. Pathological narcissism can interfere with daily functioning and relationships.
Narcissistic Enabler
- Definition: A person who, often unintentionally, supports or excuses a narcissist’s behavior. Enablers may minimize or deny the narcissist’s harmful actions, often to avoid conflict or maintain peace.
Grey Rock Method
- Definition: A strategy used by those dealing with narcissists to minimize engagement by becoming emotionally unresponsive, like a “grey rock.” This tactic is meant to make the narcissist lose interest due to the lack of emotional response.
Narcissistic Fleas
- Definition: Refers to the behaviors and habits that people who have been in long-term relationships with narcissists might adopt as a form of survival. Even after leaving the relationship, these “fleas” can persist, requiring conscious effort to overcome.
Malignant Narcissism
- Definition: An extreme form of narcissism that includes antisocial behaviors, sadism, and a high level of aggression. Malignant narcissists not only seek admiration but also derive pleasure from manipulating or harming others.
Hypervigilance
- Definition: A heightened state of awareness, common in people who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Hypervigilance often stems from a constant fear of attack or criticism, leading victims to closely monitor their environment for signs of danger.
Empath
- Definition: In the context of narcissism, empaths are individuals with a high level of empathy who are often drawn to narcissists. Narcissists exploit empaths’ empathy, creating a toxic relationship dynamic where empaths are drained emotionally.
Trauma Bonding
- Definition: An emotional attachment that develops between a victim and their abuser, often due to cycles of abuse and reward. In narcissistic relationships, trauma bonds make it difficult for the victim to leave, despite the toxicity of the relationship.
Echoism
- Definition: A personality trait opposite to narcissism, echoism involves an excessive fear of being a burden or drawing attention to oneself. Echoists may lack self-confidence and are often drawn to narcissists due to their passive nature.
