Do you have a coworker who is always seeking attention? An overly competitive friend? Chances are, you’re dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists are often skilled at manipulating people to get what they want, and they can be very destructive when they don’t get their way. But there is one tool in the narcissist’s arsenal that can be particularly devastating for their victims: flying monkeys. Flying monkeys are people who narcissists manipulate into doing their dirty work. They may be used to spread rumors, harass or stalk the victim, or even damage the victim’s reputation. If a narcissist is harassing you, it’s essential to understand how flying monkeys can empower them and how to protect yourself from them.
So what exactly are flying monkeys? And what do they have to do with narcissists? Keep reading to find out.
Narcissism falls along the axis of trying to defend against shame and humiliation.
Aaron Beck
Flying Monkeys Meaning
Flying Monkey is the term in psychology for an unusual group of people who are often in orbit with narcissists supporting or protecting what they do. Like the flying monkeys in Wizard of Oz from the Wicked Witch of the West, flying monkeys have brainwashed maniacs that the narcissist employs.
The idea may sound idealistic and psychotic, and it may seem difficult to think anyone stoops down to doing the narcissist’s dirty work. Sometimes you might be surprised. Many strong individuals get emotionally blackmailed into thinking they are doing the right thing.
Narcissist’s Flying Monkeys
There are not many resources available to prepare for narcissistic abuse. This is important because you are not alone in this abuse cycle. If you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, then you know that they always have others to do their bidding. These are the people who are always there to help them put you down and make you feel like you are worthless. If you have ever been in this situation, you must know how to deal with this problem.
Techniques
Narcissists are master manipulators, and they often use flying monkeys to gaslight their victims, spread rumors, or discredit them. They often deploy circular logic and typically exist in an echo chamber of their creation. This echo chamber only reinforces their delusions of grandeur.
Who They Are
Flying monkeys can be family members, friends, or even co-workers who have been turned against the victim by the narcissist. They may seem like a horrible person, which may be accurate, but there are other potential reasons for their behavior. It’s easy to get controlled by tactics such as toxic shame.
How It Happens
Narcissists flying monkeys often don’t realize that they are being used, and they may even believe that they are helping the narcissist when, in reality, they are just enabling the abuse. Another theory is that people help abusers because they have low self-esteem and are victims.
As We Advance
There is one big obstacle that must be hurdled to heal. If you cannot comprehend all aspects of your abuse experience, it is unlikely you can even overcome any of those obstacles. Remember, your well-being is paramount, and navigating through abuse logically and confidently is critical.
Explaining Narcissism To Others
Learning to explain narcissism can be an extremely challenging skill. Usually, I’d recommend this advice to anyone mentioning Narcissist enablers for a reason: narcissism can convert people into supporters. It would help if you also had a very carefully explained explanation of the behavior of the flying monkey.
Remain Objective
Narcissistic abuse can be challenging to identify because it often starts as small put-downs or criticisms. Over time, however, the abuse becomes more frequent and severe. If you think you might be in an abusive relationship, reach out for help. There is no shame in admitting that you need assistance, and many resources are available to help victims of narcissistic abuse. Remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
How To Spot A Flying Monkey
Flying monkeys are sycophantic hangers that usually circle narcissists whose work supports or defends their activities. But they can also be anyone, even in your other parent or someone else in your own family. They will be difficult to spot because they will do anything to keep their activities hidden from you. If a person seems like an energy vampire, you can almost guarantee they have secret motives.
How Narcissists Recruit
Narcissistic individuals tend to attract flying monkeys by spreading lies and rumors. This approach is aimed at people interested in other businesses or who gravitate naturally to drama, regardless of the credibility of a Narcissist’s claim. They may even deploy a form of love bombing or trauma bonding on people they recruit.
Disarming Flying Monkeys
A flying monkey can give narcissists a new source of energy and motivation. Narcissism and narcissist supply are vital factors in a narcissist’s health.
The first step is to recognize that these people are not your friends. They may act like they are, but they are just there to help the narcissist control you. You need to distance yourself from them as much as possible.
The next step is to stand up to the abuse. Don’t let them control you anymore. If they start attacking you or putting you down, don’t back down. Stand up for yourself and don’t let them win.
Finally, you need to build up your self-confidence. People will try to wear you down until you feel like you are nothing, but don’t let them succeed. Build up your self-esteem and remind yourself that you are worthy of respect. Know that you deserve better than the narcissist is giving you, and move on.
The Grey Rock Method
The grey rock method deals with abuse by behaving in a way that is as dull as possible. This can help to minimize the amount of attention that the abuser pays to you and can ultimately help to reduce the amount of narcissistic abuse that you experience. It’s also effective at neutralizing clout chasers who only want to get at you to gain fame or notoriety.
Deploy Against Narcissists
Give simple questions such as ‘Yeah,’ and I feel good. Keep a record of the happenings. The response must be emotional, but never in any extreme. A better example of the gray rocking technique is to be boring; the most boring people are those who never speak. In other words, if you can get away with saying nothing, do it.
When using the grey rock method, it is essential to remember that you are not trying to be friends with them. You are simply trying to make yourself as uninteresting as possible so that people will not want to bother you. This means that you should avoid any sort of emotional response. Instead, you should remain calm and detached at all times.
Grey Rocking Tips
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to the gray rock method. What works for one person may not work for another. However, some general tips you can follow to make yourself as uninteresting as possible to a narcissist.
First, avoid any sort of emotional response when interacting with the egomaniac. This includes both positive and negative emotions. Instead, remain calm and detached at all times.
Second, avoid talking about yourself as much as possible. The narcissist is only interested in people who are attracted to them, and talking about yourself will make you more attractive.
Third, try to avoid doing things that the narcissist would find interesting. For example, if you know that the narcissist enjoys going to art galleries, then avoid going to art galleries yourself.
Fourth, make sure to keep your distance from the narcissist. The more space you can put between yourself and the narcissist, the less likely it is that the narcissist will want to bother you.
Gossip/Smear Campaigns
We all tend to gossip, and when you get into trouble, it makes you miserable. Unfortunately, narcissists and their minions continue to use bullying tactics to get attention. They could quickly launch a smear campaign against you amidst resentment. It’s easy if someone isn’t familiar with this idea that you’ll turn others away.
How To Avoid Smears
Rise above seems a trite phrase and is well-suited. Make a good version of yourself, and don’t be defensive. When someone asks you about the terrible act that has happened to the ‘narc,’ you’re just wishing him happiness.
The More You Know
The narc abuser cannot tell whether the information a given person has been given is authentic. If people don’t behave as terribly, as they say, they will probably give up and flee. Then they can snap out of the hypnosis and remind them of what you know about yourself.
Narcissists Vs. Flying Monkeys
Sometimes, a flying monkey is another narcissist trying to take over the position of the first narcissist. If an antisocial person is willing to do so, it could occur. If the two aren’t happy, they’ll leave the narcissist. Unfortunately, narcissistic abuse victims are rarely in a position to see the inner workings of these group dynamics.
Quotes
While flying monkeys are often thought of as a metaphor, they can also be actual people in the narcissist’s life. These are the people who do the bidding of the narcissist. They may not even realize they are being used.
-Dr. Stephanie Sarkis
The narcissist’s goal is to control and intimidate their victim. They want you to feel like you can’t survive without them.
-Psych Central
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse that occurs when a person uses tactics such as verbal attacks, humiliation, intimidation, or isolation to control someone else.
–Psychology Today
In Summary
Flying monkeys are often people who have been manipulated or groomed by narcissists to do their bidding. These people may not even know what they’re doing and can be easily coerced into helping the narcissist with her smear campaign against the victim. They may also post online to support the narcissist or try to discredit the victim by spreading false information.
Conclusion
It’s important to remember that flying monkeys are just as many victims as anyone else in a relationship with a narcissist–they’ve just been brainwashed into thinking that what they’re doing is right. If you know someone being used by an egomaniac, please contact them and offer support.
